I Want To Go Back To Work…No, I Don’t…Yes I Do.

keep-calm-because-tomorrow-you-go-back-to-workDeciding whether to be a working mom or a SAHM is a very big decision. There is no right or wrong, but that doesn’t make it an easy call.

My last week of full-time work was in December 2012. In other words, a long time ago! Yes, starting in August I have been working part-time but I have still been officially on maternity leave.  In case you don’t know, here in Ontario we get a year off (maternity and parental leave combined) which means I will soon be working again.

So of course I am going through a phase of wanting to stay home with the kids one minute and then wanting to go back to work the next.

I am happy at the thought of being at work again, getting breaks, getting to be an independent productive person apart from my kids, but I am also nervous and scared about juggling so many balls at once.

I am also proud of myself for being for almost eleven months now and not going crazy like I did last time I was on mat leave.

The good thing is that since my parents are the ones that help out with the kids, I don’t feel guilty about leaving them to work, but I do feel guilty about leaving my “older” parents to have to take care of three young kids.

going-back-to-work-funny-i8I suppose I am lucky in a way because staying at home is nowhere near an option, so at least working isn’t a choice or a decision I had to make, it is just a fact of life.

The clock ticks on and all good things must come to an end. It will be the end of the year that was, but it will also be the start of a whole new chapter in my life. The pause this year has given me has allowed me to regain my strength and focus and I have new goals now, and new dreams and for that I am so thankful.

Wish me luck, only four weeks left.

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9 responses to “I Want To Go Back To Work…No, I Don’t…Yes I Do.

    • Thanks. We are so lucky here. And you do get EI so it is some money. Really you need it especially if you are breastfeeding. Thanks for stopping by.

  1. Good luck! I go back in February, and it is ripping my heart out, just thinking about it. All my family lives in the states, so I am completely jealous of your situation with your parents doing the childcare. (But very happy for you!).

    What kind of work do you do? I resented going to the office 9-5 before I had a baby. I can’t imagine the hate-on I’m gonna have for it now, with my baby in daycare. I’m actually considering finding a nanny job for a year or two. I think if you love(d) your job, going back will be easier!

    • It was really hard going back with my son because with transit I was gone 11 hours and when I got home he’d be off to bed and I thought I would never see him again. But it passes. After 6 months I was working 10 hours a day (plus a half hour transit), coming home, walking the dogs, caring for him and trying for #2 because I felt I had so much time. Plus, I started a brand new job when I went back with him too (same organization, two new departments) so I was swamped at work and at home. As long as you remember it’s just a transition and you will get through it.
      With three at home and jumping into things in the holiday season it’s gonna be a crazy month, but I am going to be positive and do my best. If we have to wear the same outfits a few days in a row because I have no time for laundry it’s not the end of the world right.
      While I am lucky to have my parents, the drawback is my husband and I don’t get a day off together so we can’t do things as a “family” since I am off Friday Saturday and he’s off Sunday Monday. Plus you have to do everything (errands etc.) With all the kids in tow. But we are very blessed to have the help of my parents.
      Loving your job does help, and I have one of those “dream” jobs so am lucky there, but it is a very very demanding job too.
      I wish you all the best and good luck and if you ever need advice or just to vent, feel free to email me. Cheers

  2. Best of luck to you. I return to work in April after two back to back maternity leaves. I am in the same boat as you – some days I want to go back and others I can’t imagine leaving my kids or I’m overcome with the worry that I won’t be able to do it all. I know my kiddos will be fine and I’ll survive. Thankfully my hubby has got it together – something I hope to regain one of these days! Stay strong. Hopefully, it will be easier than anticipated.

    • Thanks! I have been back for over two months and compared to the first time it was a piece of cake even though I went from one to three kids at home. Since I took the full year, the twins were weaned and that helped a lot too. Cheers.

  3. Pingback: Three Month Check In: Project Me | A Game of Diapers·

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