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Mommy Musings: Thoughts and Opinions, Top Tens/Lists

10 Things Us Moms Can Learn From Dads

wpid-IMG_799763635259932.jpegAfter reading what seems to be like a barrage of posts on “Mommy Wars” lately I made a comment that you don’t see men fighting about staying home or going to work, and that’s when it hit me.  There are lots of things Dads do (or don’t do) that us Moms could learn a thing or two from.

10. They DON’T feel guilty for working (or staying at home).  Really, why is it such a big deal for us moms and not for dads.  You make your choice you go with it, whether you are a working mom or a SAHM.  It makes me so sad to read posts everyday by women who work either by choice or necessity.

9. They DON’T read parenting books.  Yes, I do believe there is a value in reading some books, and I have read my fair share.  But I know that they can do more harm then good.  Books can set really high expectations on you as a parent, not to mention make you think that your child is not up to par. And then of course, since they all say something different, you just feel more confused than you did before reading them.

8. Schedule? HA!  Most of the Dad’s I know don’t care if the kids eat exactly at noon or 12:05 or 12:30, and you know what?  The kids are fine.  I know so many moms who literally live and die by their schedules.  Plus, that means Dads are spontaneous.  I never do anything unless I have planned it all out, whereas Dad’s just live in the moment and go with it.

7. They have less trouble saying No.  While we agonize over it, feel guilty for it, and worry about how we say it, they just say no and its case closed.

6. Dad’s involve the children in their interests.  Whereas I go crazy trying to be interested in stupid cartoons, hubs puts on the things he likes like Batman, and gets the kids to fall in line.  And let’s face it, his way everyone is having fun, whereas my way only the kids are enjoying themselves.

5. Dads don’t sweat the small stuff.  Sometimes I take 20 minutes to figure out coordinating outfits for the twins.  He just puts on whatever is clean and done.  Really does it matter? No.  Could I be doing something better with my time?  Probably.

4. Dads will ask for help (in regards to parenting, not other things like putting together stuff from Ikea…now there’s an argument).  Most of the time when he can’t find something or is unsure he will ask me.  What should I feed the babies?  Do you know where Sawyer’s jacket is?  Whereas us Moms are often too proud to ask for help and will sit there stewing about it.  He can see I am trying to take care of the babies, why can’t he help get our son his lunch instead of leaving me to do it all…

3. Dads spend time parenting.  It’s us moms who spend time in mommy groups and on play dates, and most of the time it’s about gossiping and complaining, not about spending quality time with the kids.  Just take them to the park and have fun on your own.

Dads can make anything fun.

Dads can make anything fun.

2. Dads make chores fun.  I am always so serious about cleaning or running errands where as he can turn anything into a game, and you know what?  There’s nothing wrong with that.

1. Dad’s don’t compare themselves to other Dads.  THIS IS HUGE!!!!  Come on, we all do it, and that is the source of half of our misery.  Really comparing yourself against another mom is like comparing apples and oranges.  They are both different but neither is necessarily better.  Instead, we should focus on taking pride in our own achievements and feel good about ourselves by lifting each other up instead of putting each other down.  The only person you can compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.

Those are my top 10, feel free to add your own in the comments section below.

Cheers to all the dads out there, great work!

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About Shannon

I am a university educated full-time working mother of three children. Proudly Canadian, I freeze my butt off along with my loving partner, two dogs and a cat. I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I love writing them, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Discussion

44 thoughts on “10 Things Us Moms Can Learn From Dads

  1. This is an excellent post. I love the creative angle about dads:)

    Posted by ladyinthehouse | February 20, 2014, 9:36 am
  2. Reblogged this on Brain Drippings and commented:
    Amen! Thank you Game of Diapers!

    Posted by Brain Drippings | February 20, 2014, 11:11 am
  3. Reblogged this on ronfeir and commented:
    Well done!

    Posted by ronfeir | February 20, 2014, 11:13 am
  4. All true points. Great post! My husband is a terrific dad.

    Posted by Tina | February 20, 2014, 11:14 am
  5. Your blog today made me smile!! Thanks so much!!

    Posted by vrein11 | February 20, 2014, 11:14 am
  6. Have you ever seen the episode of Modern Family, I think it’s season two, when Claire and Phil want to swap roles: Claire wants to be the fun one for a change and for Phil to be the serious one who gets the jobs done. The result is hilarious. Your post just reminded me of that as I watched it the other day!

    Posted by Nicola Young | February 20, 2014, 12:43 pm
  7. This is so on point! It’s true!!! I think all moms need to give this a read.

    Posted by Tales of a Twin Mombie | February 20, 2014, 1:38 pm
  8. Haha aside from the parenting books thing ( which they should all be thrown out the window, they aren’t accurate anyway). I do all these things! No schedules, make things fun, etc. Life is too short to not have fun with our children and let them have a childhood. Who cares what the other moms are doing? Do what is right for you and your child! Fantastic article!

    Posted by Lolli S | February 20, 2014, 3:52 pm
  9. I have two sons. They are dedicated dads. I loved your post.

    Posted by maryanne28 | February 20, 2014, 3:57 pm
  10. This is so true !!! My husband taught me a lot once I stopped actually paid attention and stopped critiquing his laid back ways

    Posted by uptownmomlife | February 20, 2014, 5:23 pm
  11. My husband (an older dad) is not exactly like this, but I know a few who are. I also know a few moms who embody some of these traits. So it’s not always a matter of gender, although it seems most often it’s the way you’re saying. I do think some of it’s a matter of just HOW MUCH TIME we spend with our kids. I’ll bet if some moms could get breaks a bit more often they’d feel fresher and less harried with the kiddos when they came back on shift. For working moms, being pooped and feeling like time is short is a big factor

    ‘ve also been talking to some women friends (even some WITHOUT KIDS) who agree that their partners just don’t EXPERIENCE time the same way (the men seem to feel less time pressure throughout the day). We can’t help it that we are the way we are – I guess there needs to be that counter balance. Somethings DO need to be done by a certain hour – that’s just life. Even though it’s great to be a fun dad, it’s not always okay to serve dinner at 9 o’clock and let the kids watch cartoons till midnight. My kids fall asleep at school when dad lets that happen!

    Posted by butterflymumma | February 21, 2014, 7:13 am
    • Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I agree that this list is a generalization, I was just trying to get the point across in a fun way. It really hurts me to read post after post about mommy wars or women lamenting they aren’t good enough mothers so I was hoping to give peoplea little perspective. I don’t follow that many dad blogs but those I do never seem to cover those issues. Have a great weekend :-)

      Posted by Shannon | February 21, 2014, 8:19 am
      • Hey Shannon! And this very afternoon I was picking up my kid from school and passed a dad who was absolutely DRAGGING his kid along by one little arm. No guilty apologies to all he passed – How many moms would do that in public and be so unphased? It seems you are onto something! Myself I always assume everyone is judging me b/c I’m a mom. Maybe dads just don’t think that way…

        You have a great weekend too!

        Posted by butterflymumma | February 21, 2014, 4:27 pm
      • Thanks! You are right, I always feel as if I am being judged when I am out in public. Really it shouldn’t matter right? Thanks for sharing.

        Posted by Shannon | February 21, 2014, 5:17 pm
  12. Love this, I know my husband is such a great father…always there for my son and willing to help in any way.

    Posted by Lindsey | February 21, 2014, 12:35 pm
  13. So true! We could really take a leaf out of their books!

    Posted by linbritt | February 21, 2014, 4:09 pm
  14. And possibly add….Dads don’t care if the house isn’t perfectly spotless. Life goes on and kids still have fun.

    Posted by linbritt | February 21, 2014, 4:10 pm
  15. Reblogged this on allaboutmanners and commented:
    Brilliant post.

    Posted by allaboutmanners | February 22, 2014, 3:11 pm
  16. Love this, mama! So true!!

    Posted by livinginthedeepend | February 22, 2014, 7:07 pm
  17. Love it! Especially love # 6. My wife finds it funny that my son AND daughter are both avid fans of the History Channel. You see, I’m a teacher and have the summers off. Guess what my favorite station is… After moving into our current house in May and upgrading our cable I spend a solid three months indoctrinating my kids in Modern Marvels. And they love it!

    Posted by Harvey Millican | February 23, 2014, 12:11 am
  18. Wow, I can relate to every one of these!!

    Posted by Jen @The Haute Mommy Handbook | March 6, 2014, 6:04 pm
  19. WOnderful post I agree with every single thing!

    Posted by surprisebjg | March 16, 2014, 2:25 am

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pingback: How To Be Inspiring | A Game of Diapers - March 3, 2014

  2. Pingback: Looking In The Mirror: Ending The Cycle Of Parental Judgement | A Game of Diapers - March 31, 2014

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