Let me guess. Reading this title you could be thinking a few things:
Sexlife? What sexlife?
Yeah, things are okay?
I wish it was better!
Sex is one of those interesting acts that while the strict definition doesn’t change, it’s meaning can very a lot depending on where we are in our lives. Sex can be young meaningless fun, it can be an expression of love with your one and only, it can be exciting and exotic, it can be a chore, it cam be boring and monotonous, or it can be for a purpose: to make a baby.
Personally, I have experienced all of the above. Did things change after we had kids? Sure they did, but not that much I guess. I think things were changing anyway since we have been together so long (seven years and counting).
The first changes start before the baby is even born. You may feel more sexy, less sexy, or both all at once when you are pregnant. I can’t really describe pregnancy sex (Ahab trying to spear the whale?) Since you are reading this blog I am assuming you are a mom or expectant mom so you’ve probably done it. For me anyways, not that great.
Then baby comes and you body is a train wreck. I personally don’t see how someone can feel sexy carrying baby weight, running on no sleep and having their boobs constantly in use (but not in the ways they used to be used). But, I have heard some do.
It’s funny, me and hubs were always private when it came to shutting the bathroom door, but once we’d had kids we didn’t bother anymore. In my mind I was thinking hey, you saw a nine pound baby tear apart my vagina and now I am worried if you see me pee? LOL
Anyway, postpartum sex eventually settles back in to normalish sex again (hopefully). Now the challenge becomes when do you do it? Sad but true, spontaneity is pretty much out the window when you have kids. Actually, that’s kind of untrue in the rare example everyone falls asleep early and you decide to take advantage of it. What I really feel bad about is when you try to plan it out and your wearing nice underwear and everything (cause who really does that on a normal day?) And then it doesn’t work out. But you have to roll with the punches.
The next stage of course would be baby making sex but I’ll save that one for another Sexy Saturday.
So now that I’ve talked about it from my perspective, what’s my advice? Good question since I am by no means a sexpert. I few tips I would say are:
-communicate with your partner
-be patient and understanding
-learn to laugh
-don’t forget about the romance
-this is real life: not television or a movie, so don’t think that’s really how it’s supposed to be. It’s not!
So here’s your chance. What are some tips you’d give for couples trying to keep the flame going while the kids are running around blowing at it?