Some parents believe in rigid schedules, other in being “crunchy” (whatever that means), cry it out, don’t cry it out, working, SAHM,etc. Etc.
There is no right and wrong when it comes to being a parent.
Rather than being an advocate of one view or one method, I am an advocate of doing what works for you and your kids.
Recently I have read a few blogs by frustrated moms, in addition to an experience on facebook that prompted this post.
My girls recently started flipping themselves out of their swings. Their swings were my go to for everything; their naps, amusement, safety while I was doing laundry or changing a baby and now I need new ideas. So I posted my question in my favourite multiples group. Somehow (I guess because I mentioned they nap in their swings) people started telling me about how they should only nap in their cribs and I am ruining their sleep schedule yada yada.
I mean really? These people don’t know anything about my situation (the girls don’t nap at the same time, I keep them on opposite schedules because I don’t like tandem nursing) and yet they are telling me how I should do things. I am sure it was meant in a nice way, but this is the problem.
There is a barrage of information for parents. From family and friends to books and the internet, you could drown. The information can be great, but in my mind the key to being a happy parent it to do what works for you.
I have already posted on some advice I found problematic. Sleep when the baby sleeps for instance only works when you have one child.
I am not afraid to admit that my twins cosleep with me and I sleep nurse them. It works for me. The girls nurse, I get sleep and everyone is happy. Do I think you should cosleep? Only if it works for you. I tried everything with my son to get him to sleep and on a schedule (swing, crib, cry it out) and had months of sleepless nights. Once I started cosleeping we were both much happier.
Everyone says bath the babies at night before bed. Well bedtime is to hectic (get my son to bed, take the dogs out, brush my teeth, change the girls etc.) so I bath them during the day when I have time. What’s wrong with that. The girls sleep just fine at night without one.
Most people tandem nurse twins. I tried it but hated it. I was already used to single feeding, and I didn’t enjoy nursing, not being able to look in their eyes and tickle their feet. Plus I always seemed to end up contorting my body into some position that would hurt later. Doing one at a time let’s me enjoy it, and I am not pinned down. I can play trains with Sawyer on the floor while I nurse. My choice, what works for me. Should you do it? Only if it works for you.
I could go on forever. I let my dogs lick my babies, my son sleep on the sofa, I give the occasional bottle of formula. Am I a bad parent? No. Will my kids grow up to be axe murderers? Hope not! LOL
Don’t confuse my system with being a pushover. We have rules and I stick to them, it is my organized chaos. I just choose my battles carefully.
The bottom line is, everything is just a guideline, a suggestion. You don’t let others tell you what to drive or what to wear do you?
Sure, you look for advice and suggestions, but at the end of the day it is YOUR life. Your family. Do what works for you and enjoy. If following certain rules makes you miserable, don’t do it. I can’t imagine anyone wants to live a miserable life?
We are all good parents in our own ways. It’s so easy to compare yourself with others or get caught up in the bragging games moms can play sometimes (you know, my baby started talking at 5 months, well mine was walking at eleven months…). As long as you love your kids and make sure they are safe and fed with a roof over their head, how you do it is no ones business but your own. Parenting is one of the most amazing things you will ever do in your life, and don’t ever let anyone take that away from you
P.S. I let my son watch unnecessary cartoons so I could write this and I don’t feel guilty at all! LOL