Now, you may be one of those people who is foreign to the term. You had sex, you got pregnant and never really thought about it. If this is you, then kudos. That’s what I thought it would be like for me too.
Since I was young I was always wary of getting pregnant unintentionally. I was under the impression that having unprotected sex once would get me pregnant. Then we decided we wanted kids, I threw away my birth control and started thinking about baby names, but after a few “failed” attempts I realized how misguided I was!
The scholar in me took over and I began reading books, websites, academic journals and I realized it is a miracle anyone gets pregnant at all! The amount of factors involved are astronomical. Some you can try to control (like caffeine or alcohol intake, vitamins etc) and some you can’t (when you ovulate, your age, your luteal phase etc.) At this point I can basically teach a course on endocrinology and the reproductive system (in fact I audited an online universal course on it!)
For some reason, probably biological, I find sex even better when in the back of my mind I think it might get me pregnant. It may be weird, but I am being honest. And trying to make a baby should be fun, heck enjoy it while you can. However, once you have been at it for a while, something changes. What was once fun becomes a chore, even stressful. It can even put a strain on your relationship. Imagine that. Usually it’s not having sex that puts a strain on a relationship. LOL
In my case, I was sitting in the walk in clinic getting my blood tested just in case I might be pregnant (I wasn’t) and I overheard the nurse call someone and tell them their results had come back positive. I could tell the person on the other end of the phone was upset and or disappointed. I thought to myself, I’d give anything to hear those words.
On my way home, disheartened and upset, I went to the pharmacy and discovered something called the Clearblue Fertility Monitor. It was better than ovulation tests because it remembers your cycle and measures estrogen and leutinizing hormone, giving you a bigger concept window. Great, I thought. This is just what I need. It will give me a sense of control over something I really can’t control. Then I looked at the price $269 plus $60 for the sticks. I hesitated. Then I remembered what I thought in the drs office and decided to put my money where my mouth was and I bought it. I can’t tell you the number of weird looks I got on the subway as I proceeded to unpack it and read the manual!
Long story short, we got pregnant that month with Sawyer. The machine worked and all was good. My hope after he was born was to never have to go through that again. After Sawyer we were NTNP (not trying, not preventing) in hopes that one day I’d just take a test and surprise I’d be pregnant. Little did I know, the work had just begun.
Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t all bad. I still laugh about the time I bolted out of work to come home and have bms (baby making sex) after hubs texted our son was napping (prime time) that I scratched the car speeding out of the parking garage :-p I also realize that there are worse things in life, but once you have the baby fever you get a one track mind.
So to all you women out there who are currently trying or have been there yourself I give you all a hug. Fun, carefree sex can still exist for us, but often doesn’t. I would like to end this post with tips or tricks, but I just don’t have any. My hope was just to write about it so people in my shoes would know they are not alone.
If you have some advice, please comment or if you would like to share your own story, feel free.