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Sexy Saturdays

Financial Sense: It’s About The Marriage NOT The Wedding

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It is no secret. It has been reported time and time again that the number one issue couples fight about is money.

So why then, do couples insist on having a wedding they can not afford?

If you asked someone if they would sacrificing years of financial security for a good party they would probably look at you like you were crazy.

But say the word “wedding” and all of the sudden rationality goes out the window. (I actually read about one woman who said she couldn’t create a wedding budget until she knew what kind of wedding she wanted!)
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Now that I am engaged I have become immersed in a whole world I only ever tread on the outskirts of (read I am a fan of bride day on TLC, SYTTD and Four Weddings).

I used to think that people were blowing their budget on extravagant affairs, champagne and carriages, hundreds of guests and lavish dresses. But, like I discovered when we started house shopping, it actually costs a lot just to get the basics.

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After getting quotes from a number of places, based on my calculations, a wedding for about 75 people or so will set you back at least $10,000, and that’s just for what I would call “average”, or even on the side of “frugal”.

I read somewhere that if people spent as much time working on their marriage as their wedding the divorce rate would go down, and I really believe that. Luckily, I have already had the similar experience of childbirth. People get so caught up in the delivery when really it’s just one day in a lifetime of parenting.

So what’s a couple with three kids trying to save for a house to do? Well there’s always the tie the know at the courthouse route, elope, only invite twenty people, wait for another ten years to save up, or go into debt to make the day a decent one.

Check back to find out which route we choose. If you visit the website regularly you can probably guess already.

The Game of Diapers is always tricky but sometimes thinking outside the diaper bag can help you be a winner.
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About Shannon

I am a university educated full-time working mother of four children. Proudly Canadian, I freeze my butt off along with my loving partner, two dogs and a cat. I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I love writing them, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Discussion

12 thoughts on “Financial Sense: It’s About The Marriage NOT The Wedding

  1. Whatever you chose I wish you the best on your marriage 🙂 My husband and myself only had a handful of people. It was a good day 🙂

    Posted by ninjasinstitches | August 19, 2013, 11:20 am
  2. I did a guest post about this awhile back. If I remember to hunt down the link, I’ll be sure to share it with you. We ended up having an extremely frugal wedding. Truth be told, I wish I would have spent more on the dress and less on the reception. My cousin had a destination wedding so they invited everyone (men, women and kids) to a big barbecue style bridal shower (still got all the gifts) and had the simple intimate wedding they wanted.

    Posted by Heather C | August 19, 2013, 3:24 pm
    • LOL it’s all about the dress. I have a post next week about what we decided. I think.we will get the most of our $5000 anyway. I didn’t even think about gifts (since we have been living together so long and have 3 kids) but heck, I sure would take some. 🙂

      Posted by Shannon | August 19, 2013, 3:29 pm
      • We bought a David’s bridal $99 special. And while it was a gorgeous dress, I skimped and didn’t pay for alterations so it didn’t fit me right. I was adjusting it all night. It didn’t exactly play up my assets. Etc.

        And we lived together for only 2 months before getting married. We ate on paper plates and used pots and pans (the $35 Walmart set) that I asked for for Christmas knowing we were looking for apartments. PS We used those pots and pans for 8 years! I have a draft about our new set right now. Lol.

        Posted by Heather C | August 19, 2013, 4:44 pm
      • I am going to check Davids myself 🙂 congrats on your new pots and pans, ours are Walmart ones right now too 😉

        Posted by Shannon | August 19, 2013, 6:59 pm
  3. My grandparents got married during WWII and the Blitz. There was just the two of them and two witnesses. Their marriage lasted 63 years until my Gran passed away and they were always really happy, even though they never had much.

    When we got married, because we already had the house and a son together, we put a note in with our invitations to our guests asking that if they wished to give us a gift, we would prefer money. We were able to put back a large part of what we’d spent!

    Posted by Dawn Frazier | August 19, 2013, 4:41 pm
  4. There are lots of ways you can have an amazing wedding for less, you just need to know where to look, and what “style” of wedding you want. Once you know the theme/direction/style of your wedding, you can figure mostly everything else out. If you ever need help with ideas, etc, let me know as I know a lot about the industry, so there are lots of ways to meet your budget. Good luck with it all, but I suggest checking out some smaller dress stores here in Toronto, and going to the USA for your dress, as you can find some really good deals there. You can also rent dresses for less, and buy second hand off kijiji, as a lot of brides have pristine dresses and want to make some money back on them. Considering how tiny you are, you may also be able to find a white dressier prom dress and alter it a bit. I know my prom dress was gorgeous and could have been considered a Wedding dress, with the right accessories. Good luck and all the best in your marriage.

    Posted by Sarah | August 19, 2013, 7:35 pm
    • Thanks! I was thinking Davids bridal since a lot of friends got great dresses there. We actually have it all figured out already so you’ll have to stay tuned for next week’s post about our wedding extravaganza 🙂

      Posted by Shannon | August 19, 2013, 8:37 pm
  5. We did our wedding on a pretty tight budget as we paid for it all ourselves. Work out what’s most important to you (ie. dress, photos, reception) and spend the money on that and save elsewhere. My biggest tip to save money is don’t tell places you are planning a wedding. Caterers, hairdressers etc all add $$ just coz it’s a wedding.

    Posted by linbritt | August 20, 2013, 7:26 am

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