It was an amazing feeling. As I walked the dogs, the sun was shining and warm, my music was playing, and the wind was rushing through my hair and down my neck. Why did I wait so long? I thought.
I’ll tell you why. I have always been concerned about the way I look. I think everyone is deep down, whether they admit it or not. My hair has always been especially important to me because it grows so slowly. So while I colour it way too much (read about my hair colouring addiction here), I rarely cut it. Colour can be fixed, but what’s gone is gone.
When I was young it was all about fashion. Being thin, fit and looking good were paramount. But over the years, I have gained confidence in myself and started to choose function over fashion. I wear glasses instead of contacts, runners instead of heels, and I only wear cross body purses (for when I walk the dogs).
But, I still have to admit there was a lump in my throat when I walked into the salon today.
It’s funny because over the years I have had tons of hair styles from short short hair to 18 inch Great Lengths hair extensions. I was one of the first people to get a Pob (the famous Victoria Beckham cut) and I cut my own hair all the time (bangs and what not).
Still, when I wanted to cut my hair short I thought about it and thought about it. I even tried. Twice! Both times once I got up the courage, time, and money to go, the stylists talked me out of it! But today I was sure. I was going to get it done no matter what. If it looked good or bad, I would deal with it. (Not like when I was 20 and wanted to hurl myself off a cliff because I turned my hair orange.)
What made it different today was my family. I have always known my family (parents, brother) would love me no matter what, but I always have (and I think always will) worry about what people think.
I know. It’s bad. It’s terrible. But I can’t stop.
But now that I am engaged and have three beautiful children, I realize there is so much more to life than your appearance. I also know that even if I was bald they all would love me just as much. I am their mom and his future wife.
So today I cut it all off. I feel happy and free.
And as the wind tousled my newly shortened tresses around my face I had one of the smallest big realizations ever.
It’s only hair.
For before and after photos click here. (link to tomorrow’s post).