For all you readers out there who are a bit squeamish about hormones and periods etc. I am going to warn you, you might want to skip this one. For everyone else, read on..
When you are a teenager and you do something stupid (related to the opposite sex) people chuckle and say, “it’s teenage hormones”.
When you are a man and you check out a woman’s behind without even realize you are doing it, people say “it’s hormones” (testosterone).
When you are a woman and you are moody or irritable, everyone says “its hormones” (PMS).
But what about when you are a breastfeeding mother who’s body has just been through the rigorous adventure of pregnancy and childbirth and her body is trying to figure out what the heck is going on? I ask because this is me, and no one gives me the nice excuse of hormones. Sure, right after the baby is born people expect your hormones to kick in as you become a loving mother and sacrifice sleep, showers, and crew neck t-shirts to care for your baby.
But then you have me. I am six months out and my hormones are going crazy. One day I am super happy, high as a kite, ready to take on the world. The next day I want to cry because my coffee order is wrong, and I want to stay away from everyone. I think if you read my blog daily you can even tell my the tone of some of my posts lately, one day happy, one day angry, one day sad…
Since I am nursing the chemical prolactin keeps Aunt Flo at bay, but that doesn’t stop my body from trying anyways. So I am stuck going through what seems to be an eternity of going through all the phases but never actually cycling and you know what? It sucks! I need some closure here. People like normal. I don’t really know what that is, but I’d settle for predictable.
And you know how it is. Even though you know in your head it’s your hormones, not you, it doesn’t matter. Like riding a bronco bull, you wish you had control, but the best you can do is hang on for dear life.
Being the scholar that I am, I of course tried to research this period of a woman’s life and what it was life before your first post partum period, but sadly there isn’t very much information on it. Perhaps it’s is not significant for other women, or they are too busy to notice. Not me. I am very in tune with my body, and I am also a control freak. It drives me absolutely bonkers that I have no control over what my body does, but it bothers me even more that I cannot at least explain it/ understand it.
Not only that, but if you look at anecdotal information there are several stories about people who became fertile almost right after birth etc. etc. and then several stories about people who did not get their periods back until after they weaned, or not until after a year, 16 months, 20 months etc. How am I supposed to know what to expect such a wide variation?
So, I decided to do the only thing I could do. Blog about it! LOL This way, at least if there is someone out there going through something similar they will know they are not alone. I also thought maybe some people might share their stories about their fertility returning (ie. when did it happen, did you have any symptoms etc.)
Anyone out there been through this and lived to tell the tale?