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Mommy Musings: Thoughts and Opinions, PROJECT ME

What Do You Do When You Have It All?

Struggling with the difficult questions and searching for answers.


This year has been an amazing year for me. I have been very happy as I watched many of my dreams come to fruition. Giving birth to the twins, getting engaged, finding a great place to live, getting a new position at work…

All of the sudden, all the things I have spent years struggling for, bled for, sweat for, and cried for, were mine.

So what now?

Of course I am eternally grateful for all I have, and I realized it could be lost in a second, but for now I feel both lost and found at the same time.

The easy answer would be to say just maintain what you have. That is hard because life is fluid, and always changing. Plus, there is something more rewarding about working towards a goal. As anyone who has ever been on a diet will tell you, watching the pounds come off is great, but forever declining dessert just to maintain what you already have is significantly less thrilling.

I could always set new goals. Yes, that is something I am working on. I am thinking about going back to school and working towards a new certification. I am always learning and improving my skills both at work and at home, and obviously life isn’t perfect.

Still, it feels weird.

I suppose part of the problem is because I am lacking in an identity. For so long I defined myself by my struggles, once the struggles go away I feel like something is missing. How do I define myself now?

Yes, I am many things. A mother, a professional, a daughter, sister, fiancee, friend…but who am I?

That’s when I realized that since my life was on track, it was time to change my focus from outwards to inwards on myself. I have sustained a lot of scars and bruises, wisdom and knowledge, nightmares and memories along my journey this far that are all continually swirling within me. I need to find some order in the chaos and also some peace. I have made the life for myself I always wanted, but now I have to figure out how exactly I fit into it.

So my new goal is to work on mommy for a while, because I know that not only will it benefit me, it will make me better in all the aspects of my life.

Have you ever achieved your long term goals? What did you do next? How do you define yourself?


About Shannon

I am a university educated full-time working mother of four children. Proudly Canadian, I freeze my butt off along with my loving partner, two dogs and a cat. I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I love writing them, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.


8 thoughts on “What Do You Do When You Have It All?

  1. First, congratulations! Those are some big goals met, major accomplishments! Don’t forget to enjoy them! But I get what you are saying. Personally, I need to have some goals to work towards or I get very complacent and (correspondingly) unhappy. Not every goal has to be major. Try to narrow down what will make you grow as a person? Yoga, morning prayer, meditation, a marathon? Whatever. πŸ™‚ Personally, I would be thrilled if I could just stop biting my nails!

    Posted by Cat | December 17, 2013, 3:37 pm
    • It’s funny you said that because after being a nail biter for over 30 years, I finally stopped that too! Lol. Thanks for your insight. I hve decided to take some time and work on myself (although it is not really a goal per se). I suppose I technically have a wedding to plan, but I try not to think about that lol. Happy holidays and thanks for reading.

      Posted by Shannon | December 17, 2013, 4:19 pm
  2. You are a lucky lady. I have similar questions to you and wonder why i’m not grateful for all that I have. I’m content, but always wanting more.
    I think it’s human nature for all of us to pursue some sort of personal
    development, especially women. i realise a time will come when my twins will need me less, they’ll grow up and move out (sob, sob) and i’ll have to find something else to keep me busy. When that day comes I don’t want to find a vacuum in my life, that I have no hobbies, friends or life of my own. It’s so important as a mum to have time for ourselves. I’m definitely a better mum for having a little ‘me’ time now and again.

    Posted by Olivia FitzGerald | December 18, 2013, 8:38 am
    • Thanks so much for your comment Olivia. You sound a lot like me. You are right in that part of it is I don’t have everything, I am just perfectly content with what I have. I love my kids so much, they have given me a reason for being and I do cringe at the thought of them not needing me anymore, but I am just going to take it one day at a time. At least we both have blogging right? Wishing you all the best πŸ™‚

      Posted by Shannon | December 18, 2013, 9:32 am
      • Yes Blogging is great fun, although i’m still learning the ropes. Part of the excitement is I don’t know where it will take me.
        Merry Christmas to you and your little ones! :0)

        Posted by Olivia FitzGerald | December 18, 2013, 10:45 am
  3. i feel exactly the same! I am happy but always looking for somethink more in my life… thanks for this beautiful article! I love your blog πŸ˜‰

    Posted by Anne-Charlotte | December 22, 2013, 4:57 am


  1. Pingback: On Growing Up (Them and Me) | A Game of Diapers - January 12, 2014

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