Relationships are tough. Once you have kids, they are even tougher. But since it’s Valentine’s Week I would like to share a few ideas of things you can do to help keep things hot (okay, well at least luke warm).
I am the first to admit I am no relationship expert, but overall I think we do very well for ourselves considering how busy we are and our limited time together. In my case, while I love my partner more than anything, sometimes I forget that I am IN LOVE with him. Sometimes it takes a bit of effort to remind myself that our relationship is important and worthy of some investment.
So here are a few of the things I do (admittedly tame) to keep the romance alive. Feel free to share your suggestions in the comment section. Curious to see if anyone will mention a threesome 😛
1. Sexting (sexy texting). Send something fun, sexy, steamy to hubs during the day. You get to enjoy the art of flirting again (you remember flirting right?) and get revved up for later. I am a little wary of sending pictures, but if you are brave enough that can work too.
2. Sexy lingerie. Yes, its cliche but it works. In my case, my underwear is the last thing on my mind so when I do put aside the boy shorts and make an effort hubs is very appreciative. Plus. when you look the part, you tend to feel more like it.
3. Romantic dinner. They always say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Make his favourite dinner as a way of saying I love you. If you are like me and don’t cook, this really shows how much you care.
4. Watching tv/movies. Sometimes I get so involved in being a mom I forget about being a woman. Yet, after watching a few episodes of a tv show with a steamy hunk, romance, or lots of sex scenes usually reminds me.
5. Hold hands. It’s sounds silly, but there is power in touch. Simply holding hands can make you feel more connected and can eventually lead to other touching. Hugging is great too, since a good hug releases feel good endorphins in your body.
6. Massages. These are great! Especially if your back hurts after lifting babies all day. Foot rubs and hand rubs are also nice.
7. Small gifts. We are definitely on a budget, but little tokens can show that you are thinking about each other. It could be your favourite donut, or a hockey themed pez dispenser, or even a free magazine you picked up, but it should be something thoughtful.
8. Listen. After being with someone a long time you often tune them out since you think you already know what they are going to say, or you are also doing three other things in addition to listening. Give them your full attention and take interest in what they are saying. If you are feeling really generous, you could even let them win an argument. In my case, we are both pretty stubborn, and even though we rarely fight when we do it’s always about something stupid (like the last episode of Walking Dead). Just let it go for once. Or if you must fight, consider it a buy in for make up sex.
9. Look at old pictures. Again, sometimes I just get lost in mundane life. Looking at pictures of when we were young and dating reminds me that we are more than our chores we can be fun and romantic, and of all the great times we have had together. Time to go make more.
10. Say I love you. Say it lots and say it like you mean it, because you do. Not only are you setting a positive example for your kids, you are renewing your relationship. I know I always feel good whenever he tells me he loves me, especially when I don’t expect it.
So what is it for you? Date night, puzzles, or going for a walk together?. How do you remind yourselves you are still a couple even though you have a family?