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Sexy Saturdays: 10 Little Ways To Boost Your Relationship After Kids

imageRelationships are tough. Once you have kids, they are even tougher.  But since it’s Valentine’s Week I would like to share a few ideas of things you can do to help keep things hot (okay, well at least luke warm).

I am the first to admit I am no relationship expert, but overall I think we do very well for ourselves considering how busy we are and our limited time together.  In my case, while I love my partner more than anything, sometimes I forget that I am IN LOVE with him.  Sometimes it takes a bit of effort to remind myself that our relationship is important and worthy of some investment.

So here are a few of the things I do (admittedly tame) to keep the romance alive.  Feel free to share your suggestions in the comment section.  Curious to see if anyone will mention a threesome 😛

1. Sexting (sexy texting). Send something fun, sexy, steamy to hubs during the day. You get to enjoy the art of flirting again (you remember flirting right?) and get revved up for later.  I am a little wary of sending pictures, but if you are brave enough that can work too.

2. Sexy lingerie. Yes, its cliche but it works. In my case, my underwear is the last thing on my mind so when I do put aside the boy shorts and make an effort hubs is very appreciative.  Plus. when you look the part, you tend to feel more like it.

3. Romantic dinner. They always say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.  Make his favourite dinner as a way of saying I love you.  If you are like me and don’t cook, this really shows how much you care.

4. Watching tv/movies. Sometimes I get so involved in being a mom I forget about being a woman. Yet, after watching a few episodes of a tv show with a steamy hunk, romance, or lots of sex scenes usually reminds me.

5. Hold hands. It’s sounds silly, but there is power in touch. Simply holding hands can make you feel more connected and can eventually lead to other touching.  Hugging is great too, since a good hug releases feel good endorphins in your body.

6. Massages. These are great! Especially if your back hurts after lifting babies all day. Foot rubs and hand rubs are also nice.

7. Small gifts. We are definitely on a budget, but little tokens can show that you are thinking about each other. It could be your favourite donut, or a hockey themed pez dispenser, or even a free magazine you picked up, but it should be something thoughtful.

8. Listen.  After being with someone a long time you often tune them out since you think you already know what they  are going to say, or you are also doing three other things in addition to listening.  Give them your full attention and take interest in what they are saying.  If you are feeling really generous, you could even let them win an argument. In my case, we are both pretty stubborn, and even though we rarely fight when we do it’s always about something stupid (like the last episode of Walking Dead). Just let it go for once. Or if you must fight, consider it a buy in for make up sex.

9. Look at old pictures. Again, sometimes I just get lost in mundane life. Looking at pictures of when we were young and dating reminds me that we are more than our chores we can be fun and romantic, and of all the great times we have had together. Time to go make more.

10. Say I love you. Say it lots and say it like you mean it, because you do. Not only are you setting a positive example for your kids, you are renewing your relationship.  I know I always feel good whenever he tells me he loves me, especially when I don’t expect it.


So what is it for you?  Date night, puzzles, or going for a walk together?.  How do you remind yourselves you are still a couple even though you have a family?


About Shannon

I am a university educated full-time working mother of four children. Proudly Canadian, I freeze my butt off along with my loving partner, two dogs and a cat. I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I love writing them, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.


19 thoughts on “Sexy Saturdays: 10 Little Ways To Boost Your Relationship After Kids

  1. When our kids were really little and we had very little time, we did things like workout together – some thing we would normally do alone, that we knew was important to us, but could also be quality time together.

    Posted by mik1999 | February 15, 2014, 9:37 am
    • I would so love to work out together. I am an avid rollerblader and bought some for hubs a while back. We were hoping to go together. Hasn’t happened yet, but maybe when the kids are a bit older. Thanks for sharing 🙂

      Posted by Shannon | February 15, 2014, 9:45 am
      • for us, for a couple of the early years of parenthood, much of our working our moved to the home gym – our other, outside sports, had to suffer for a couple of years.

        Posted by mik1999 | February 15, 2014, 9:58 am
  2. Cute picture. I always wondered how one could do that in the sand without making foot tracks.

    Posted by LFFL | February 15, 2014, 10:51 am
  3. Thanks for posting!

    Posted by prayroy | February 15, 2014, 11:07 am
  4. Reblogged this on Brain Drippings and commented:
    Some post-Valentines advice I found on one of my favorite blogs.

    Posted by Brain Drippings | February 15, 2014, 2:28 pm
  5. This ecard makes my day!! So freaking true it’s scary!

    Posted by findingcoopersvoice | February 15, 2014, 3:00 pm
  6. I like these ideas, Shannon. Thanks for sharing. Always good to spice it up. I love the e-card too. Hilarious. I like to go out in a group of couples as it keeps things lively (and keeps us all awake). Every couple has their own dynamic as well and the stories tend to come out along with the laughs

    Posted by martinimomblog | February 15, 2014, 4:33 pm
  7. Beautiful post and great reminder, Shannon. I’m so blessed to have my hubby of 23 years still look at me like I’m his favorite flavor of ice cream. We keep our love simple, in the forefront and make it a point to enjoy the little things together: working in the yard, hanging out in the kitchen and stepping it up behind closed doors when it’s least expected 😉

    Posted by MamaMickTerry | February 15, 2014, 8:46 pm
  8. It is hard to keep the romance alive i admit it. Especially when i find myself planning meals, and counting up how many hours its been since the last time i nursed the baby when i should be focusing on the intimacy we are trying to stir up. Tbh, my sex drive is oh so very very low right now and i feel very little desire to get to it. The back rubs i could appreciate though! 😉

    Posted by journeyformybaby | February 15, 2014, 11:28 pm
  9. Everything on your list is so simple and obvious, yet we forget these things as we get lost in the daily grind. Thanks for the reminder! 🙂

    Posted by Anjali | February 16, 2014, 12:14 am
  10. Cute! Great ideas and yes I totally agree with date night. I am amazed at how much I enjoy watching a movie, going for dinner, drinks or a hockey game with my husband. So many activities we used to take for granted before children and now we try to get out together alone once a month

    Posted by katetheo12 | February 17, 2014, 8:13 pm
    • That’s great! I didn’t include date night on my list since we don’t do it 😦 but I think it’s a great idea for sure. If we do get out (it was twice last year lol) we definitely appreciate it. Thanks for commenting.

      Posted by Shannon | February 17, 2014, 8:43 pm

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