After reading what seems to be like a barrage of posts on “Mommy Wars” lately I made a comment that you don’t see men fighting about staying home or going to work, and that’s when it hit me. There are lots of things Dads do (or don’t do) that us Moms could learn a thing or two from.
10. They DON’T feel guilty for working (or staying at home). Really, why is it such a big deal for us moms and not for dads. You make your choice you go with it, whether you are a working mom or a SAHM. It makes me so sad to read posts everyday by women who work either by choice or necessity.
9. They DON’T read parenting books. Yes, I do believe there is a value in reading some books, and I have read my fair share. But I know that they can do more harm then good. Books can set really high expectations on you as a parent, not to mention make you think that your child is not up to par. And then of course, since they all say something different, you just feel more confused than you did before reading them.
8. Schedule? HA! Most of the Dad’s I know don’t care if the kids eat exactly at noon or 12:05 or 12:30, and you know what? The kids are fine. I know so many moms who literally live and die by their schedules. Plus, that means Dads are spontaneous. I never do anything unless I have planned it all out, whereas Dad’s just live in the moment and go with it.
7. They have less trouble saying No. While we agonize over it, feel guilty for it, and worry about how we say it, they just say no and its case closed.
6. Dad’s involve the children in their interests. Whereas I go crazy trying to be interested in stupid cartoons, hubs puts on the things he likes like Batman, and gets the kids to fall in line. And let’s face it, his way everyone is having fun, whereas my way only the kids are enjoying themselves.
5. Dads don’t sweat the small stuff. Sometimes I take 20 minutes to figure out coordinating outfits for the twins. He just puts on whatever is clean and done. Really does it matter? No. Could I be doing something better with my time? Probably.
4. Dads will ask for help (in regards to parenting, not other things like putting together stuff from Ikea…now there’s an argument). Most of the time when he can’t find something or is unsure he will ask me. What should I feed the babies? Do you know where Sawyer’s jacket is? Whereas us Moms are often too proud to ask for help and will sit there stewing about it. He can see I am trying to take care of the babies, why can’t he help get our son his lunch instead of leaving me to do it all…
3. Dads spend time parenting. It’s us moms who spend time in mommy groups and on play dates, and most of the time it’s about gossiping and complaining, not about spending quality time with the kids. Just take them to the park and have fun on your own.
2. Dads make chores fun. I am always so serious about cleaning or running errands where as he can turn anything into a game, and you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that.
1. Dad’s don’t compare themselves to other Dads. THIS IS HUGE!!!! Come on, we all do it, and that is the source of half of our misery. Really comparing yourself against another mom is like comparing apples and oranges. They are both different but neither is necessarily better. Instead, we should focus on taking pride in our own achievements and feel good about ourselves by lifting each other up instead of putting each other down. The only person you can compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
Those are my top 10, feel free to add your own in the comments section below.
Cheers to all the dads out there, great work!