Sometimes I think I was born in roller blades since they feel as normal to me as walking. I know rollerblading isn’t for most people, but after years of being an avid blader my roller blades are one of my best friends and have been with me through thick and thin.
Since it is still too cold in the morning to ride my bike I decided to bring my blades with me to work and go out on my lunch break. So far it has been very successful. It gets me out in the sun and gets my blood pumping. I work downtown and both King and Queen are very flat making them very enjoyable routes (however the number of homeless people and drug addicts is a little scary but…)
It does require a little planning. I make sure to wear or have socks and I don’t wear a skirt. I just a new pair of these awesome wide leg linen pants that have a yoga pant waistband so while they look very dressy they are comfortable, lightweight and very easy to move in.
So, now between taking 5 minute yoga breaks, Rollerblade lunches, and bike riding for my commute (in addition to diet, vitamins etc.) I feel like Health, which was my lowest category in Project Me is now one of the better ones. On the down side many others have gone down.
With my mom’s sudden diagnosis of breast cancer (which turned out to be aggressive and has spread into her body), losing our sole babysitter (my parents), my work schedule which is really picking up (I have a major event or more every month until October) and feeling really depressed about my IF I feel like the world around me is literally spinning and out of control and despite my attempts to grab on to something I can’t.
I have done so well with being mindful and patient with Sawyer and yesterday when my mom had to suddenly go back to the hospital for heart trouble and he threw a pillow in my face almost breaking my new glasses I lost it on him. I yelled and screamed, and actually even pushed him a bit as I was trying to stop the pillow from hitting me in the face. I know this is just a temporary setback and I haven’t lost what I have gained, I am just not in a good place right now.
So in the meantime, I will continue to exercise as much as I can to try to let out the energy. It’s funny because I feel like I have a permanent lump I my throat and I just need a good cry, but try as I might, the tears don’t come. Then I see a stupid sappy commercial or a Facebook post and I tear up. I know I have the strength to get through this, but it’s the dancing in the rain part when all you want to be is warm and dry that is hard.