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Ect., Infertility, PROJECT ME

From Heels to Wheels: Rollerblading On My Lunchbreak

heels1Whenever I am stressed my exercise level always goes up and lately I have been stressed.

Sometimes I think I was born in roller blades since they feel as normal to me as walking.  I know rollerblading isn’t for most people, but after years of being an avid blader my roller blades are one of my best friends and have been with me through thick and thin.

Changing into my blades.

Changing into my blades.

Since it is still too cold in the morning to ride my bike I decided to bring my blades with me to work and go out on my lunch break.  So far it has been very successful.  It gets me out in the sun and gets my blood pumping.  I work downtown and both King and Queen are very flat making them very enjoyable routes (however the number of homeless people and drug addicts is a little scary but…)

It does require a little planning.  I make sure to wear or have socks and I don’t wear a skirt.  I just a new pair of these awesome wide leg linen pants that have a yoga pant waistband so while they look very dressy they are comfortable, lightweight and very easy to move in.

My reflection on my wheels

My reflection on my wheels

So, now between taking 5 minute yoga breaks, Rollerblade lunches, and bike riding for my commute (in addition to diet, vitamins etc.) I feel like Health, which was my lowest category in Project Me is now one of the better ones.  On the down side many others have gone down.

With my mom’s sudden diagnosis of breast cancer (which turned out to be aggressive and has spread into her body), losing our sole babysitter (my parents), my work schedule which is really picking up (I have a major event or more every month until October) and feeling really depressed about my IF I feel like the world around me is literally spinning and out of control and despite my attempts to grab on to something I can’t.

A little red in the face afterwards.

A little red in the face afterwards.

I have done so well with being mindful and patient with Sawyer and yesterday when my mom had to suddenly go back to the hospital for heart trouble and he threw a pillow in my face almost breaking my new glasses I lost it on him.  I yelled and screamed, and actually even pushed him a bit as I was trying to stop the pillow from hitting me in the face.  I know this is just a temporary setback and I haven’t lost what I have gained, I am just not in a good place right now.

lYmHP0rXnqx7u817XmWMcg4io1_500So in the meantime, I will continue to exercise as much as I can to try to let out the energy.  It’s funny because I feel like I have a permanent lump I my throat and I just need a good cry, but try as I might, the tears don’t come.  Then I see a stupid sappy commercial or a Facebook post and I tear up.  I know I have the strength to get through this, but it’s the dancing in the rain part when all you want to be is warm and dry that is hard.

Namaste.

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About Shannon

I am a university educated full-time working mother of four children. Proudly Canadian, I freeze my butt off along with my loving partner, two dogs and a cat. I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I love writing them, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Discussion

22 thoughts on “From Heels to Wheels: Rollerblading On My Lunchbreak

  1. There’s nothing wrong with something little getting you started to get the tears and energy flowing Shannon! Since I’ve made an effort to do this, instead of carrying my lump in my throat, I’ve been a better person in dealing with my kids, not getting sore throats and just handling life better. You must surely be carrying plenty in your throat right now-you have so much on your plate. I love that you are still into mindfulness and exercise anyway!!

    Posted by heidelightful | April 17, 2014, 8:05 am
  2. I’m sorry to hear about your mother, positive thoughts for you and her. Exercise is so great for your mind, body and soul…sounds like you need the rollerblades at work – just to get lost for a few minutes and take some time for yourself. You’re doing a great job.

    Posted by Piper's Run | April 17, 2014, 8:12 am
    • Thanks! It’s like rolling meditation and I love it. Plus I never used to take lunch breaks so it’s good to make me take the time for myself. It’s amazing how I feel better all day. Cheers!

      Posted by Shannon | April 17, 2014, 1:41 pm
  3. It’s great that you are dealing with the stress in a positive way, like exercise! I prefer comfort food, so exercise is definitely the better choice 😉 Also, super cute shoes!
    So sorry to hear about your mom. For me, my mom is the most important person in my life outside of my hubby and baby, so I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I know dealing with that on top of everything else going on in your life is hard.
    Sending positive thoughts for health and healing your way…

    Posted by Jenny | April 17, 2014, 8:24 am
    • Thanks so much! Yeah it’s kind of funny. I guess I have realized over time that alcohol, cigarettes or food just make things worse, plus I had to learn to live without during the most stressful time in my life to date (during the IF treatments). Thanks for the well wishes for my mom. Have a great day.

      Posted by Shannon | April 17, 2014, 1:40 pm
  4. Praying for you as you go through this really hard time. Blessings…

    Posted by vrein11 | April 17, 2014, 10:10 am
  5. Dear Shannon,
    Sending you lots of love, prayers and good vibes. I can feel your stress but know that you have the strength to cope and get through. It’s in my nature to worry about people…even those I haven’t met and must say I was encouraged and touched by your simple sentence:
    “I know this is just a temporary setback and I haven’t lost what I have gained,”
    As mama’s, we can be so hard on ourselves and self-compassion is so important to get us through those times we aren’t in good places. I was glad to see a semblance of kindness to yourself amidst a rough day.

    And now a little something to lighten the mood. Imagine a 38 week pregnant woman on rollerblades in hot July. Yup. That would be me with my first child.
    Hang in there…get some sleep and know you have lots of people on your side.
    xo
    Michelle

    Posted by MamaMickTerry | April 17, 2014, 7:20 pm
    • Thanks. Wow! I stopped at 6 months with #1. I was too afraid of falling and hurting the baby. With the twins I could barely walk so… Lol you are so kind and caring, I imagine you are quite the light in the lives of those around you. Thank you so much for reading and your kind words 🙂

      Posted by Shannon | April 17, 2014, 9:09 pm
  6. Yay! A fellow rollerblader!

    Posted by Theresa | April 17, 2014, 8:47 pm
  7. I’m sorry that you are having such aa bad time. And especially for your mom. 😦 I really hope everything is ok with her.
    In regards to your being depressed with IF, I certainly feel your pain. Are you still wanting to try for more?

    Posted by journeyformybaby | April 18, 2014, 1:37 pm
    • Thanks! I don’t know. I don’t think I could go through that again but I would like one more. Hubs is happy with what we have. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, maybe just because lately a lot of people are pregnant? I have to suck it up, but you know how it is. When one thing brings you down everything else does too. You?

      Posted by Shannon | April 18, 2014, 3:05 pm
      • Yes I understand. I definitely want more but the thought of going through ivf again and having it fail scares me so much. And actually pregnancy scares me a bit too since its so touch and go but i would absolutely love love love to be pregnant again.

        Posted by journeyformybaby | April 22, 2014, 11:07 am
  8. This speaks to me. I love my rollerblades too but lately they have been hanging out in the back of the closet. This is something I think I could actually do at work and enjoy! Thanks. Sorry to hear about your mom. Hospital visits are exhausting especially when it is to the oncology floor. It’s not a hopeful place. I am sure IF is terribly depressing too. I would automatically want more children just because someone was telling me I couldn’t. At the same time, I have friends who have spent years ttc and are still childless. I don’t think I could afford he emotional cost of fertility treatments. That’s a tough thing to have to deal with. Seems like you still have your chin up. Hope you continue to see the sun!

    Posted by Rachel | April 19, 2014, 8:03 am
    • Thanks Rachel. Definitely go for it. I am working a big show today so I was on my rollerblades working it at 7am in zero degrees outside the airport lol. Thanks for the comments too. My life is tough sometimes but so is everyones and I know how blessed I am. Have a happy Easter.

      Posted by Shannon | April 19, 2014, 8:13 am
  9. Tears and intense reactions release energy. Very necessary. It’s what we do to fix the outbursts that make us who we are. You sound normal and grounded. Whenever I get spun into frustrating self destructive circles of anxiety, my husband always tells me a phrase that I used to tell him in his tougher times. “This too shall pass.” And it’s right – it always passes.
    As a fellow blader I salute you for helping to keep the wheely feet alive!

    Posted by mumziemadness | April 19, 2014, 8:04 am
    • Yay! I don’t know many of us but it’s good we are out there. It’s funny about the tears. I often think about it when watching Monsters Inc (the premise is that laughter produces more energy than screams if you haven’t seen it). Sadness, anger, frustration have pushed me farther than happiness ever did. But then I realized that we express happiness so its gone whereas (I anyway) bottle up those emotions and so they become a very powerful force ansd like you said, you have to let them out. Thanks for reading and happy Easter.

      Posted by Shannon | April 19, 2014, 8:16 am

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  1. Pingback: Cultivating Gratitude…on my lunchbreak. | A Game of Diapers - May 10, 2014

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