As a mother of three I can say that a mother’s love does not divide, it multiples. I love that I have three kids and would gladly have more. Yet, I find when I am alone with just one of my children things are so different.
Yesterday I took Sawyer to Wal-Mart to look for new rain boots and I noticed something interesting. It was something I had noticed before, but this time the thought lingered a little longer in my mind. I seem to “love” (for lack of a better word) my children more when I am with them individually compared to when we are all together.
When it is just him and I, Sawyer acts differently, but then again, I guess I do too. The things he says and does seem extra cute, he is always so well-behaved, and I can really feel a connection with him. He will say something that surprises me about how smart or funny he is or he will do something new leaving me surprised and elated.
The trip was lovely as we treated ourselves to our favourite muffins at McDonald’s, and wandered the store choosing new boots, and a few extras (they had really nice Superman PJs for $10). Even when we had to make an emergency rush across the store to the washroom it was fun.
I suppose there are a few simple reasons for it. Most of the time I am with all three so being with him alone is going to feel more “special”. I am more focussed because I am not dividing my attention between the three of them, and he is not dividing his attention between us. Moreover, he probably feels more confident and at ease knowing that he has me all to himself with my full attention and patience. I suppose I am more confident as well, because there is nothing I can’t handle from one child since I am normally navigating life with three in tow.
Everything just kind of slows down, and I enjoy every moment.Then I wonder if this is what parents with one child feel like. Maybe. Although, I don’t remember feeling that way with Sawyer before the twins were born, but its all kind of blurry. I think it might have something to do with perspective though.I have also had similar experiences when it is just me with the twins. I feel more connected with them, we have more fun. I remember a couple of weekends ago when Sawyer and Daddy were at the movies thinking to myself how easy it would be if I “just” had twins. Then I laughed to myself, how many people would ever say that? Well, again, it’s all about perspective.
I know it isn’t a big deal, and I am sure there are others out there who notice the same thing (there are right?) but it still seems to bother me. I feel like it is a sign that I should be working harder to achieve that bond and sheer joy regardless of whether I am with one, two or all three of them. It seems nearly impossible while they are at this age since they are at such different stages, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t work towards it right?
So I am curious, what are your thoughts? Do you notice a huge difference when you are only with one child? Has is motivated you to try to feel that way all the time, or just to make sure you spend more one on one time with your kids? General thoughts?