Out on our walk today, I had a lightbulb moment when I truly realized what a blessing my kids are.
Sometimes when you are so busy changing diapers and cleaning up messes you forget to see the forest through the trees.
I think of myself as an average normal mom, but the truth is I am unique (we all are in our own ways).
It started with a nice older woman who stopped to say hi to the girls, who obliged her with big smiles. She then addressed Sawyer and said he was such a nice big brother and what a lovely family we were. She told me about her three grandkids (two boys and a girl).
Many more smiles and comments from people (mostly elderly) later, it ended with an elderly man with a cane who shared the elevator with us. He smiled and cooed at June and greeted Sawyer. Getting off, he held the elevator door open so I could maneuver the stroller and I thanked him. “No” he said. “Thank you for letting me see those beautiful babies”. He then explained that he had six grandkids of his own and that they were his world.
As we were walking home in the sunshine it hit me, how lucky I really am (and believe me I have always felt grateful for my kids).
Seeing the gleam in the eyes of so many seniors at the sight of the twins made me realize I was doing something right.
I mean, they have lived a lot more life than me and they are older and wiser. And the fact that they love and value seeing my kids so much tells me that I made a good choice.
If you are a regular reader you will know that I never really wanted kids. Well, I was open to it, but it wasn’t something I gave much thought to.
Then one day I did.
I was always super career oriented and I have had to make sacrifices for the life I have now.
But that gleam, their stories, prove to me that nothing is more important than family. Everything in life will come and go, and it can be dangerous to build your identity around fleeting ideas. Family is family, it’s work, it’s love, but it’s not a regret.
When (if) I get old and grey, I know it will make me happy to know what an impact I have made on my kids lives and hopefully their kids, just like my mother and grandmother have on me. If I can think of one meaningful reason in life, it would be that.
Mommy loves you Sawyer, Sansa and June.