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Ect., Mommy Musings: Thoughts and Opinions

How To Get Your Children To Eat Their Junk Food

Making sure your child gets plenty of calories, fat and sugar is not always easy, but here are some creative ways you can make sure that they stay away from all those nasty fruits and vegetables.

1. Stay away from food with flavour. Processed foods tend to be blander than unprocessed foods so if you want them to go for baloney and hot dogs keep the seasoning to a minimum. Stay away from vegetables or meats that are cooked with herbs or spices, and stick with plain soups like tomato over fiesta vegetable. If they do need some flavour have them dip it in a sugary sauce like ketchup or bbq sauce.

2. Give your children lots of snacks. Since children tend to eat more junk food as snacks, keep them snacking throughout out the day and they will simply be too full to eat healthy lunches or dinners.

3. Don’t forget about drinks. Why have them drink water when they could be drinking fruity flavoured drinks like Gatorade or soda pop. Not only will those options provide them with lots of sugar, the drinks will also help to fill them up to prevent them from wanting to eat healthy meals.

4. Have candy and chocolates with you at all times. Kids are fussy? Give them chocolate. Going for a car ride, give them candy. Parenting is easy if you bribe your children at every chance you get, plus they will get all those added calories.

The girls eating potato chips.  Remember it's never too early to start unhealthy eating habits.

The girls eating potato chips. Remember it’s never too early to start unhealthy eating habits.

5. If they must drink milk, make sure to put syrup like chocolate or strawberry in it. At least that makes it a compromise between you and your children, not too healthy, but not that unhealthy either.

6. Remember that breakfast is a meal (the most important one, in fact) so treat it like a meal. Fruit or cereal is for birds. Make sure to give them nice greasy eggs and bacon loaded with butter and salt to keep them tired and sluggish the whole day long.

7. Fast food is your friend. Not only is it affordable, there are plenty of options to ensure they get plenty of fat, salt and cholesterol packed into a tiny burger.

8. Monkey see, monkey do. Model the behaviours you want to see in your children. When they observe you eating donuts for breakfast or a pint of ice cream for dinner they will want to do it too. And who says kids shouldn’t drink coffee.Β  You do it so they can do it.Β  Look at that, now you even have something to bond over.

Now keep in mind that diet is only half of the equation; you also need to ensure your children do a minimal amount of activity. Keep your children indoors, preferably watching television all day and avoid places like parks, swimming pools and playgrounds.

Stay Happy and Stay Healthy.


About Shannon

I am a university educated full-time working mother of four children. Proudly Canadian, I freeze my butt off along with my loving partner, two dogs and a cat. I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I love writing them, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.


14 thoughts on “How To Get Your Children To Eat Their Junk Food

  1. HAHAHAAHAAAHHAAA!!!! Love this!!! Except for the bacon and eggs part. they are actually a healthy way to start a day– add some good fruit juice and you have a good healthy breakfast.
    Thoroughly enjoyed your sarcasm! I was actually thinking this am about a post about just this!! Who wants to keep buying groceries??!! That stuff is expensive! Give them portioned out foods at set times of the day and your foods will last longer and they will not get overfed!!

    Posted by vrein11 | February 7, 2014, 10:38 am
  2. I found a great complementary article over at LemonWaterBlog so check it out:

    Posted by Shannon | February 8, 2014, 8:22 am
  3. OMG thank you! Now I can finally see all the things I’ve been doing wrong this entire time! ROFL

    Posted by The mom | February 8, 2014, 12:07 pm
  4. Sound advice! Writing it down πŸ˜‰

    Posted by Bronwyn Joy @ Journeys Of The Fabulist | February 14, 2014, 9:41 am
  5. Love this piece – especially number 7! Like the way you squeezed in the sedentary lifestyle in the last sentence too.

    Posted by Home Truths | August 14, 2014, 7:07 am
  6. You are hilarious! Nothing like a little sarcastic humor to get my day started. Thanks for the post πŸ™‚

    Posted by Heather C | August 14, 2014, 7:37 am
  7. Love the irony behind this post! Thanks for the laugh!

    Posted by mommytrainingwheels | August 14, 2014, 8:27 am
  8. Lol. This was a treat to read. You are hilarious!

    Posted by mamaetmaman | August 14, 2014, 9:51 am

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