1. Stay away from food with flavour. Processed foods tend to be blander than unprocessed foods so if you want them to go for baloney and hot dogs keep the seasoning to a minimum. Stay away from vegetables or meats that are cooked with herbs or spices, and stick with plain soups like tomato over fiesta vegetable. If they do need some flavour have them dip it in a sugary sauce like ketchup or bbq sauce.
2. Give your children lots of snacks. Since children tend to eat more junk food as snacks, keep them snacking throughout out the day and they will simply be too full to eat healthy lunches or dinners.
3. Don’t forget about drinks. Why have them drink water when they could be drinking fruity flavoured drinks like Gatorade or soda pop. Not only will those options provide them with lots of sugar, the drinks will also help to fill them up to prevent them from wanting to eat healthy meals.
4. Have candy and chocolates with you at all times. Kids are fussy? Give them chocolate. Going for a car ride, give them candy. Parenting is easy if you bribe your children at every chance you get, plus they will get all those added calories.
5. If they must drink milk, make sure to put syrup like chocolate or strawberry in it. At least that makes it a compromise between you and your children, not too healthy, but not that unhealthy either.
6. Remember that breakfast is a meal (the most important one, in fact) so treat it like a meal. Fruit or cereal is for birds. Make sure to give them nice greasy eggs and bacon loaded with butter and salt to keep them tired and sluggish the whole day long.
7. Fast food is your friend. Not only is it affordable, there are plenty of options to ensure they get plenty of fat, salt and cholesterol packed into a tiny burger.
8. Monkey see, monkey do. Model the behaviours you want to see in your children. When they observe you eating donuts for breakfast or a pint of ice cream for dinner they will want to do it too. And who says kids shouldn’t drink coffee. You do it so they can do it. Look at that, now you even have something to bond over.
Now keep in mind that diet is only half of the equation; you also need to ensure your children do a minimal amount of activity. Keep your children indoors, preferably watching television all day and avoid places like parks, swimming pools and playgrounds.
Stay Happy and Stay Healthy.