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Mommy Musings: Thoughts and Opinions, What Do You Think?

What is the ideal spacing between kids?


Expecting #2

This morning I was at the gym, huffing away on an elliptical when something on the television caught my eye. The royal couple are expecting #2.

Wow! I thought to myself. I remember being on maternity leave when she had George and now she’s already pregnant again.

Of course, part of me was instantly jealous that she could get pregnant so easily but then the other part of me wondered, what is the ideal spacing between kids?

I suppose it’s different for everyone. I always wanted mine to be close together as my brother and I are only a year and a half apart and we were very close as kids. It didn’t quite work out the way I planned but I think everything happens for a reason and the extra space was good since we ended up with twins.

The way I see it, close together is tough when they are young but easier when they are older. Further apart is easier when they are young but harder when they are older (but this is just opinion, not based on experience).

Still, I am curious to hear from you, what do you think is a good spacing and why?
What are the pros and cons?
Do you wish you had waited more or less time?

Hopefully with some good answers we can provide someone who stumbles across this with some good advice. Of course the #1 thing is to do what works for you, but some perspectives don’t hurt.



About Shannon

I am a university educated full-time working mother of four children. Proudly Canadian, I freeze my butt off along with my loving partner, two dogs and a cat. I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I love writing them, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.


27 thoughts on “What is the ideal spacing between kids?

  1. What a good post! So, I have in my drafts one post with your question. I tried to give an answer, but I think a correct answer there isn’t. I think there is a compromise, a time when you can caring of both of them, in the better way. if you want, when I will publish my post about this topic, I write to you.
    (Sorry for my possible grammar errors.) Greetings momfrancesca πŸ™‚

    Posted by momfrancesca | September 8, 2014, 10:19 am
  2. I have been wondering the same thing actually. My brother and I are also a year and a half apart and I agree that closer together is better (for us anyways) because it’s easier when the kids are older.
    My hubby however thinks otherwise (he sees the short term pain of having two little ones close together) so who knows when we’ll have our second! Lol

    Posted by luckymama13 | September 8, 2014, 10:22 am
  3. I personally think 2-3 years apart is a good range. My siblings and I are 2.5 years apart, 3 by grade.

    Posted by Awaiting Autumn | September 8, 2014, 10:30 am
  4. I think it depends on personal experience. I am seven and ten years older than my sister and brother and my partner is seven years older than his sister. The circumstances in the life or our parents (in one case infertility, in the other case needing to feel financially secure) are what prompted the gaps. In the case of my family, when I was younger I was able to help my mom out a lot with my younger siblings. I felt for a long time like I was their second mom. Now that they’re older, our relationship has changed and the age gap is less apparent (even though I have kids and they don’t).

    Both my partner and I decided that we wanted our kids close together (if it was possible for us) and my son and daughter are 21 months apart. I think the ideal spacing is simply when you feel ready. We started trying for #2 when my son was weaned at 13 months because he was finally sleeping through the night and, though he can be stubborn, he is a very caring little boy.

    Posted by mommytrainingwheels | September 8, 2014, 10:47 am
  5. I wanted 3 years spacing but Kate gets all the help so why not?

    Posted by Christie Silver | September 8, 2014, 11:47 am
  6. My two boys are 16 months apart. I wanted them close partially so they could entertain each other (at least in theory) and partially because my husband is older than I and we didn’t want our kids having an 80-year-old dad at their high school graduation! There have been some tough times but now they’re 3 and 4 so it’s getting easier!

    Posted by Cristi G. | September 8, 2014, 12:08 pm
  7. Wow, I hadn’t heard the news. That’s great! My goal was 2-3 years apart which worked for my oldest and “middle” but I guess I messed up somewhere because my “middle” and “baby” are only 1 min apart. LOL. πŸ™‚ for baby #4, we won’t even be trying probably until after the twins 3rd birthday so they will be 4ish years apart. I like that our family will have so many different dynamics. I have a brother 13 months older and 6 1/2 years younger. We have totally different relationships but are all very close so I think it’s more the family and less the age gap that determines what’s really the ideal spacing, kwim? Thanks for a great post!

    Posted by Heather C | September 8, 2014, 1:25 pm
    • I didn’t know you were trying for #4 (I remember you had a rough pregnancy with the twins). Good for you πŸ™‚ yeah my middle and youngest are about 45 minutes apart πŸ˜‰ if we were ever lucky enough to have another I wouldn’t mind a bigger gap to make room for the twinnado so I totally agree. Thanks for commenting.

      Posted by Shannon | September 8, 2014, 5:00 pm
  8. I think possibly 3 years…?

    Posted by Elisha | September 8, 2014, 3:06 pm
  9. If i could redo my life i would ha started reproducing a lot sooner, at least 5 years ago and would space them out good. I think its awesome when people have teenagers and babies at home!

    Posted by Love,DANI | September 8, 2014, 4:18 pm
    • I agree with the first part. When I was young I planned on having kids young but life got in the way. I suppose there are perks to being older. Teens and babies equals free babysitting LOL Thanks for sharing.

      Posted by Shannon | September 8, 2014, 4:57 pm
  10. Mine are a smidge more than two years apart. It is pretty intense now (they are two years and three weeks old now) but I am hoping they will be buddies down the road!

    Posted by colleenmd | September 8, 2014, 4:42 pm
    • For sure. My son was just over two when the twins were born so I had three on diapers and two breastfeeding so it’s doable. Ironically I find it harder now! But yes, they are definitely friends. Good luck with your new little one πŸ™‚

      Posted by Shannon | September 8, 2014, 4:58 pm
  11. Given our infertility history we didn’t have much choice in the matter when it comes to our own kids, but my sister and I are 8 years apart, and honestly we didn’t really start to get close until recently. I agree that further apart is harder as you get older, though in our case we were on the more extreme end.
    As it turns out, even though its rough some days, I think twins are perfect!

    Posted by Theresa | September 8, 2014, 7:58 pm
    • I do love having twins for sure. I am so thankful for them every day. Watching them interact with each other and take care of each other is so sweet. I have just have to remember that when they are older and fighting with each other lol

      Posted by Shannon | September 9, 2014, 7:56 am
  12. I think what you just said about spacing is just what my opinion’s tough when they are young and easier as they get old. We were expecting our #2 when the Big Thing was only 10months old! We do feel blessed and stressed at the same time!! πŸ™‚

    Posted by Haajra | September 9, 2014, 2:42 pm
  13. We have been starting to think about this very question, now that Sammo is almost two. We had planned on three years apart, but that means we have to start trying very soon, which freaks me out! I don’t think I’m ready. I think we should wait till the thought of another baby doesn’t make my stomach hurt. πŸ™‚

    Posted by thingsheatherlearnedtoday | September 21, 2014, 1:02 am
    • LOL. I just read an article that suggested four years was ideal spacing and now having a four year old I thank god we didn’t wait that long! Yes it was tough with three under three but at the same time my son was only two and was so well behaved and obedient as he didn’t realize he has free will yet. So I guess there are always pros and cons no matter what.

      Posted by Shannon | September 23, 2014, 8:01 am
  14. I never understood people that wanted to “wait until their first was in school before trying again”. Are you serious? I wanted the diapers and sleepless nights all at once. I couldn’t imagine going back. My oldest was still little but LOVED being a little helper. She read to her baby sister all the time from such a young age. My girls are 2 years apart, developed early and are now the best of friends. I wouldn’t do it any other way.

    Posted by mstoywhisperer | October 21, 2014, 10:50 pm

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