Sigh. The question. The worst question. When I first went back to work after the twins I was asked this a lot. In fact, I even wrote a post about it. Then things died down and I started a new job so people stopped asking (it’s kind of a given you don’t ttc during practicum/probation especially when waiting will get you a sweet mat leave benefit top up).
The girls just turned two and now it has started all over again. There is the puckered faces from parents of just one or two saying “so are you going to have more?” as if having four is completely unfathomable. Then there are the people with no kids and no frame of reference who ask with genuine enthusiasm “so are you going to have any more?”
In any case how do you answer?
-it’s none of your business
-it’s up to god
-I want more but my reproductive organs are strictly for show
I think I have given several different answers depending on who’s asking and what kind of mood I am in.
Needless to say it is a question I don’t like because over all it just makes me sad. I know that no one asking means any ill will towards me or has any idea of the path I have had to walk and so I forgive them for their indiscretions. With every question comes the silent response “it only it were as easy as deciding how many kids I wanted”.
It doesn’t help that the twins are two now and they are not babies anymore. While I do feel like I have changed a million diapers I am struggling with the concept of having to put the baby stuff away and move on (but that’s probably a topic for a whole other post).
So let’s hear from you. Do you get asked this question? How do you respond? Any tips for me?