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Infertility, Mommy Musings: Thoughts and Opinions, Twins/Toddler Tuesday, What Do You Think?

So are you having any more kids?

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Sigh. The question. The worst question. When I first went back to work after the twins I was asked this a lot. In fact, I even wrote a post about it. Then things died down and I started a new job so people stopped asking (it’s kind of a given you don’t ttc during practicum/probation especially when waiting will get you a sweet mat leave benefit top up).
The girls just turned two and now it has started all over again. There is the puckered faces from parents of just one or two saying “so are you going to have more?” as if having four is completely unfathomable. Then there are the people with no kids and no frame of reference who ask with genuine enthusiasm “so are you going to have any more?”
In any case how do you answer?
-it’s none of your business
-maybe/don’t know
-it’s up to god
-I want more but my reproductive organs are strictly for show

I think I have given several different answers depending on who’s asking and what kind of mood I am in.
Needless to say it is a question I don’t like because over all it just makes me sad. I know that no one asking means any ill will towards me or has any idea of the path I have had to walk and so I forgive them for their indiscretions.  With every question comes the silent response “it only it were as easy as deciding how many kids I wanted”.
It doesn’t help that the twins are two now and they are not babies anymore.  While I do feel like I have changed a million diapers I am struggling with the concept of having to put the baby stuff away and move on (but that’s probably a topic for a whole other post).

So let’s hear from you. Do you get asked this question? How do you respond? Any tips for me?

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About Shannon

I am a university educated full-time working mother of four children. Proudly Canadian, I freeze my butt off along with my loving partner, two dogs and a cat. I hope you enjoy reading my posts as much as I love writing them, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Discussion

4 thoughts on “So are you having any more kids?

  1. I actually have had this question often, and I generally give the same answer. At least 2-5 years from now, when Lucy is older. I had horrible post partum, and I need to finish my degree. I also work. I’m very wary of having another before this all happens. I never want to go through what I went through with my first. Personally, if I was you, I would just tell them nonchalantly that ya’ll are thinking about it, and that you’ll get to that when it’s time. If you want to wait or not, that’s your business. Anyways, I hope this helps. šŸ™‚

    Posted by TimeDancer | January 20, 2015, 7:49 pm
    • Thanks for commenting. What makes this question so hard for me is that i would love to have more kids but suffer from infertility and can’t get pregnant on my own (it took a year of fertility treatments last time and we have now been having unprotected sex for over two years). So its really hard because having kids is a choice for most people but for me it isn’t and this question usually makes me want to cry. I am glad you have an answer. Thanks for reading.

      Posted by Shannon | January 21, 2015, 7:02 am
  2. I take it as a compliment as the majority of the time it follows being told by that person that I have raised such awesome kids. The world should be so lucky to have more of my little humans lol. I usually answer with “oh we keep trying all the time.. but my husband is fixed so it’s unlikely”

    Posted by ninjasinstitches | January 21, 2015, 7:49 am
    • That’s a great answer lol. I am sure if it was a choice for us the question wouldn’t bother me so much but i still have a lot of anger and sadness at the fact that we cant have anymore kids. Lately I have started saying that its up to God which usually creeps people out and they go away LOL.

      Posted by Shannon | January 21, 2015, 8:07 am

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