I agree that good communication is the key to a strong relationship. But when everyone seems to have differing opinions, how much is too much?
So, if you read my article the other day about the lady bug you will know that after a couple of drinks hubs and I (as usual) got into a fight. Why? Well because with nothing to hold our tongues in place we started saying things we probably wouldn’t have said if we were sober. Which brings me to the issue what do you share and what do you keep to yourself?
I have read that you should not keep secrets from your partner. After all, they are your partner and you should be able to share everything with them right? Then I have also read that you should keep negativity to yourself because no one like to be weighed down with someone else’s issues. Honestly, it is such a fine line.
Maybe part of the problem for me is that I have no close friends to confide in or talk to about certain things. Mind you there are those who would say that you shouldn’t be talking about things with your friends that you can’t discuss with your husband.
Both hubs and me are very closed people in a sense. He is just very closed. I have a yellow personality which means I need to tell everyone everything to feel validated. Since I often feel like I can’t talk to him about things I just bottle it up and since that is totally against my personality I feel worse. I want, no I need someone to talk to. At the same time, a lot of it could be minor things that maybe I do just need to let go and there is no need to bother hubs with them.
I was also of the opinion that you shouldn’t tell someone something strictly because it will make you feel better even if it might make you feel better. For example, say I had health issues. Since there is nothing I or anyone can do can do about it (and I am not dying) how would telling my partner help the situation? It would just make him worry and feel bad so I choose to keep it to myself. But, at the same time, if hubs were having issues I would want him to tell me so I could be there for support so again what is the right thing to do?
We have been together nine years and I want to keep our relationship strong and healthy but yet I struggle every time I go to open my mouth. I can’t help but feeling this is not normal. I am sure it’s due in part to our opposite personalities, but still sometimes I wish he was more like a friend I could confide in and tell anything to rather having to censor my life. Admittedly, I am a pretty messed up person and probably no one could handle all that crazy LOL I often thought I would never meet anyone because, well, who could put up with that stuff?!? So believe me when I saw how thankful I am for him and for our family. And in the meantime I can tell the dogs anything and they will always listen and give me a kiss afterwards 😉
So, opinions anyone? How do you deal with communication in your relationship? Do you have an tips or tricks for me? Please comment below and share your best practices with others.